That Night

The silent click of her computer mouse was the only sound in the entire room. Her roommate had gone out to get groceries. Wiling away time on the internet was getting pretty boring for her now. Just as she stretched out to shut the laptop out of sheer boredom, a ping sounded on her desktop. Bedrudgingly she opened the window and read the notification. An instant smile spread actoss her face. It was a mail from the boy she loved. He was currently posted on a ship, miles away from civilization, and this was their only means of communication now. Fleeting memories of laughter, long walks and cozy moments buzzed her brain as she cursed the speed of the net. She would change it first thing in the morning. Finally the mail finished loading. His ever smiling face was now fixated in her head reading out every single word as she went through them. She really loved him a lot and she knew that he loved her too. 
But with the next line her world came crashing down upon her. Suddenly his smiling face turned into a surreal grimacing figure she had seen so a many times. Long walks gave way to longer fights and cozy moments turned into the one singular instance that had shattered her entire existence only a few weeks ago. Like a broken record playing in a horror movie, his last words were echoing in her head. He had broken up with her. And in this mail, he wanted to iterate upon the various reasons he did so. This was not the first of its kind, there had been a few before, all having the same end result, pain, cold numb and brutal pain. She read through the lines, the keyboard now dotted with tears, her demeanour no longer jovial but with a heart trying to pick up whatever was left after that incident. She had failed to give him the time that he deserved. She had hurt him beyond measure and he wanted her to know that. Every line was like a gash on her broken heart. It was the exact same thing that had happened the last time. Was she not made for a relationship? What on earth was wrong witn her? Why was she the only person who was failimg again and again at love? 'Love' and 'Relationship', these words seemed so not made for her. For the second time in her life some one had broken her heart but it was all her fault. 
But was it really? What of all the times she had cried herself to sleep because he was the one who had hurt her. What of all the pain and heartache that she had gone through and was still enduring with a smile on her face. No one ever knew about that except for one of her best friends. And she was not the one reminding him of the great screw ups that happened in the relationship. 
No she was not the weak link in the relationship, he was. Yes they both loved each other, true but she loved him no less than he loved her. And that she would have him know, ship or no ship. With a sharp click, the browser collapsed. She would not tolerate this any more. It was about time that she actually started living her life like she wanted to and not like the way he and others before him wanted her to. So if some one wanted her, she would be her true self from now on. A take it or leave it offer. With a snap, she shut off the laptop and lied down on her bed. She could hear her roommate now comimg up the stairs. 'Life is good' she told herself and wiping away the sole tear on her cheek, she turned away and drifted off. 
The silent sob was the last sound heard in the room that night.

The Diary of Dreams

May 20th:

She stared at the empty page in front of her. She reclined into a more comfortable position on her bed and stared at the diary again. It was early morning and she could see the faint rays of the sun beginning to seep in through the curtained windows. She tried to recall the dream she had last night, but couldn't seem to recall any. Did she then not dream at all? She flipped the pages of her diary. She had maintained a dream diary ever since she could remember and yet she had nothing to write in it today. All of her last posts spoke of him.

Anamika had met him in her second year at Law school. One rowdy hooligan he was, always hanging by at the bus stop with his usual gang of cronies. He had an air of some gang leader about him. But one fine day he had decided to come and talk to her. May be he wasn't a bad person after all. Slowly feelings changed and she found herself falling for him. Was this what was called "made for each other"?

But shit happened. They got separated due to her work reasons. She was really upset about it and blamed herself for it, but he made her see reason. The first few months were unbearable but she got used to it. She would actually wait the whole day just so that she could hear his voice or one message from him would set her alive. But an LDR is not called bad for any reason. The frequency of him calling/messaging decreased slowly over time. He used to come to meet her once a month but later even that became a rarity. She knew that no amount of time and distance could shake her feelings for him but did he feel the same? For almost two years they hadn't met at all. Things were different now.

She looked at her hand. The diamond set in her ring was glinting in the early morning light. She was engaged now. She hoped he had acted sooner. It would have saved her a lot of pain. But she was happy now. Her fiance was still asleep. She closed the diary with a sigh. The Diary of Dreams.

She got up and quietly went towards the kitchen. Breakfast in Bed seemed a good thing.

The Memoirs of a Relatioship

May 19th:

He stared down at the blank page open in his diary. He scratched his head with his pen and then took the diary up in his hands. A small smile played on his lips. He slowly crossed over from the desk and flopped down on the bed, switching on the bed side lamp as he went. Today he would rather read the diary rather than write in it. He started flipping through the pages and came to stop at a random page. A single torn page was carefully folded in here. He took out the torn page, now yellowed with time and carefully opened it. A drop of tear momentarily appeared at the corner of his eyes before falling down on his lap. The page was a torn fragment from another diary, her diary.
Shobhit had met her when he was in his third year in Dental college. A cute little doll she was then, always so meek and eyes that spoke so much. He liked her from the moment he laid eyes on her. He used to hang out after college just to get a glimpse of her. Soon bravery found him and he mustered enough courage to go and talk to her. Time passed and friendship turned into a relationship. They seemed so "made for each other". He was in love.
Eventually he landed a job in Bangalore and had to go away. Promises were made and tears were shed. The first year went smooth. They used to talk and text a lot. He would even take out time to visit her once a month. Slowly even that died out. He had learnt to bear the pain and so did she too he hoped. Now it had been 2 years that they had met. He had decided that it was about that he made his final decision. He would pay her one last visit. This was one month ago.
Shaking himself out of the flash back he had gone into, he re-read the page again. She was a dreamer, that one. A couple kissing at the Eiffel Tower. He recalled that she also liked roaming around a lot. Her dream was a world tour. Dreamer indeed. He stole a look at the now sleeping figure of his wife-to-be. Smiling down at the page now, he wiped away the second drop of tear. He was happy to have taken that decision a month back. He carefully placed the torn page at the last entry in the diary. May 19th:, he looked at the blank page again. The he slowly closed the diary and momentarily held it in his hands. The Memoirs of a Relationship.
Putting it aside he switched off the bed lamp, kissed the now fast asleep form next to him and went to sleep.

99 Things bout Guys...

1.The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when there attracted to them

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

17. Guys are very open about themselves.

18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23. Guys will brag about anything.

24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

37. Guys don't really have final decisions.

38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your
boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

49. A guy would give everything he owns to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

50. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of
us.

52. We don't like girls who are too skinny.

53. Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unnoticeable tell them about yours...

54. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..

55. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...

56. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.

57. When a guy sacerfices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

58. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.

59. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.

60. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.

61. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.

62. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.

63. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.

64. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.

65. We never shave our legs. So get over it.

66. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............

67. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.

68. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.

69. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."

70. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.

71. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.

72. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.

73. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.

74. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.

75. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.

76. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach.

77. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

78. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

79. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is

80. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

81. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

82. Guys love their moms.

83. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

84. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

85. Guys think too much.

86. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

87. when a guy loves you bring out the best in him.

88. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

89. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

90. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

91. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.

92. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

93. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

94. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them
more.

95. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.

96. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

97. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

98. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

99. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway

Anniversary

Been meaning to write this for quite some time now. The following is the narrative of my anniversary (12th Oct 2009) .

I guess it started off about a month in advance. People call it "The Honeymoon Period". But I simply had to make this day as awesome as possible. After all you just have one "1st Anniversary".
Hence it began.

The Planning :
Well to begin with I needed a gift. But therein lied the biggest problem. I suck at gifts (sigh). So I tried figuring out what could be the best possible choice. And somehow every idea I had seemed worse than the last. From soft toys to jewelery to accessories, I thought about all of them. But darn nothing good enough (or in budget). Hence taking the easier way out I decided that my gift would be 1 whole day being spent with her and making it as much fun as possible.Yup. Sound about right. But as the days slowly crept by even this idea seemed shitty. Dammit what do I do now? I could feel panic gripping me. 29 days to go and i had no idea of my super special gift. The idea struck me in my ADBMS class (thanks Mangalore for being so darn boring). A calender. Simple yet nice. She would like it, yes. I mean what better way to show the passage of a year. And then I sat down to chalk it out.
With my imagination going seriously wild I planned on and on. Within minutes I had it prepared in my head. It looked wonderful (indeed). But then came problem #2. Raw materials (:O). In my imagination I hadn't considered this. Now what do I do? I needed pictures and relevant ones. I mean I couldn't go pasting up any crap in any random order. Ohk this keeps getting tougher and tougher. And once again the solution presented herself in the form of her dear friend. Voila! Why didn't I think of this earlier?
Sept 15: (almost a moth to go) I start getting the first batch of pics. Ok ok keep them coming. Pulled a couple more from here and there and within 10 more days I had quite a few of them.
Oct 2: (10 days to D day) We happened to hit a trip to Lonavala. Ah! What better excuse did I have than this to get me some pictures. Of course couldn't let her know then. Had loads of fun and even managed to get a few clicks here and there without attracting much attention. Anyways now armed with a good arsenal of pictures I sat down to make my calender. Now this was the tricky part. Selecting appropriate pictures and placing them with appropriate months. Luckily since I had sort of planned this out, I mostly knew what went were but once again I wasn't satisfied. But still I kept at it and finally I was ready with my 1st rough draft. This is when I called in my chic mentor and showed the damn thing. Criticism. More work. Draft 2 through 5. More criticism. Draft 6 ---> Hmmm, nice.
Oct 6: (6 days) Done. Finally I'm done. Now I just needed to figure out how to spend the day with her when Problem #3. There was a company coming the next day and I had to sit for it. So anniversary had to take a backseat. Anyways keeping the long story short, I cleared the company interview and got placed. Yay! Divi was positively jumping with joy. Best anniversary gift ever she said. Wow things finally looking up huh?
Oct 10: (2 days to go) Due to some reason I had just found out that Lavasa was an awesome place to go and I had unconditionally included it in my trip. But i didn't know the way. Again angelic surprise, a wild trip and problem solved. Looked like everything was falling slowly into place.
Oct 11: Plans go haywire. Apparently she had her mock pracs on the 12th. Mahn what a bummer. But not to be let down i rescheduled my plan, now accomodating her pracs. At the same time I needed a place for a nice dinner. Someone suggested Riverview. Ckecked it out, liked it, booked it. I had already informed my parents that I wud be coming back late. Then by a brilliant stroke of luck, I convinced Mom to let me make some cake and chops that I could take on the next day. This was still going on course.
7pm: I happen to come across a video of Pon n Zi. Some guy had made this for his girl. If he can why not me? I started on the video. By immense luck, I finished it within 10. Whoa! This is so great.
10pm: A friend of mine called up asking my plans. I laid them out. Funnily enough he asked me why I didn't write any poem this time also (had written one for V day). Great idea dude. But no time. Hence did the best thing possible. Wrote down a brief description of the year past with lines from a song. Now with my mouse on the send button I waited for 12 o'clock.

The Execution:
12 o'clock: The phone rings and "Happy Anniversary". The send button is clicked. The youtube address is mailed. Only a matter of time. "Wow, this is so nice...luv u".Cool! That must be the mail. "Omg, u made this for me?" Ohk that was the video. I could actually hear her voice getting heavy. The day had just begun.
Getting up at 5 was never so easy. I was up and out of the house by 6, racing down the road. Now the simple way I had planned to giv her the calender was : A treasure hunt. The clues were basically places that meant a lot to us and strategically placed around the city. I made them as such that we could start from the college and end up there at last. Hence clue #1 and it began. At a later clue by a nearby lake, I got out the cake and chops. Hugs :D. But unfortunately I had to get back to college by 9ish, leaving the hunt incomplete. While she was at her pracs, I took a quick nap and was back to continue the rest of the hunt.
Now I forbade her to open the envelopes till i asked her to and I had ordered them randomly, the last one being a pic of me and her. Now once the hunt was complete, I waited on her to change and come for dinner, picked her up and reached Riverview to a candlelight dinner. That was where I gave her the last and final envelope and shimmering eyes let me kno that she had loved the day. My plan was actually successful.
Getting back, we just hung out for sometime when her friends called her. Not knowing what the reason was, we hurried back in quite a downpour just to find the two of them with a pretty card and a rose. Wow. I wasn't the only one planning this out then.
Driving back to my home, getting drenched in the cold rain, I was happy. She hadn't said anything, but then again she needn't, her eyes had said it all and more. 1st Anniversary indeed.

Wow. Its been like two months since that day and now. 14 months have passed since I stood, soaking wet in the rain, asking her out. And still I'm up right now waiting for her to call me and wish me once again, just the same way she has been doing for the past 14 times.