I have always believed that college is the time you should do it all. Experience everything you have ever wanted to experience and when you pass out, have no regrets. My story kinda follows the same pattern. Experienced pretty much everything I ever wanted to experience. Smoking, drinking, failing in exams, living in a hostel as a free bird, partying even after having no money, scoring a distinction and even falling in love. And most of these will remain as nothing but fond memories from those Golden days.
Throughout college I've had a few of my friends telling me to quit smoking. They hated it. And I would always get a reason as to why I should quit. Needless to say none of them stuck. I was off for some time and then I was back on. They say smoking is the hardest thing to quit, I've done it tons of times already. And so that one habit remained even after I passed out.
But there comes a time in every smoker's life when he/she gets the motivation to go ahead and quit completely. The motivations can be infinite ranging from the smallest of things to the most crucial of them. Most of the times, the motivation comes in the form of a person, in most cases, the love of their lives. But what do you do when your motivation gives up on you? The answer is simple, you go back to the death stick.
For me, I've had a couple of people telling me to quit. Some of them have stopped trying, some have walked out of my life and some others have turned smokers themselves. But there is this one recent acquaintance who is different. Lets call her X.
I haven't known X for a lot of time, but I see my motivation in her. X scolds me, badgers me, gives me a hundred reasons daily as to why I should quit and just doesn't stop. But for the first time after starting smoking, she actually made me feel that I should quit. What's so special about her? Nothing really. She is just like any other female I have ever come across, yet different in a way. She cares. Not that the others before her did not, but she just does not give up. She once went as far as saying that if I don't quit, she won't ever learn music in her life.
But I can't stop. Does that make me a bad guy. Yes it does. Big time. Will I justify myself? No I won't. Its like my life depends on the stick so much, that I just can't give it up at a shot. I need time and support. And just when I think I'm ready to move on, the support vanishes. It happened this time also just like last time. I know most people would say, that it ain't that tough. But there is a reason a lot of people in this world are never able to quit smoking. I guess I also fall among the masses. Have I lost hope? I don't think so.
*Sigh* And so I sit here, waiting that one day even my motivation will arrive and set me free of these chains of smoke. Till then....
Throughout college I've had a few of my friends telling me to quit smoking. They hated it. And I would always get a reason as to why I should quit. Needless to say none of them stuck. I was off for some time and then I was back on. They say smoking is the hardest thing to quit, I've done it tons of times already. And so that one habit remained even after I passed out.
But there comes a time in every smoker's life when he/she gets the motivation to go ahead and quit completely. The motivations can be infinite ranging from the smallest of things to the most crucial of them. Most of the times, the motivation comes in the form of a person, in most cases, the love of their lives. But what do you do when your motivation gives up on you? The answer is simple, you go back to the death stick.
For me, I've had a couple of people telling me to quit. Some of them have stopped trying, some have walked out of my life and some others have turned smokers themselves. But there is this one recent acquaintance who is different. Lets call her X.
I haven't known X for a lot of time, but I see my motivation in her. X scolds me, badgers me, gives me a hundred reasons daily as to why I should quit and just doesn't stop. But for the first time after starting smoking, she actually made me feel that I should quit. What's so special about her? Nothing really. She is just like any other female I have ever come across, yet different in a way. She cares. Not that the others before her did not, but she just does not give up. She once went as far as saying that if I don't quit, she won't ever learn music in her life.
But I can't stop. Does that make me a bad guy. Yes it does. Big time. Will I justify myself? No I won't. Its like my life depends on the stick so much, that I just can't give it up at a shot. I need time and support. And just when I think I'm ready to move on, the support vanishes. It happened this time also just like last time. I know most people would say, that it ain't that tough. But there is a reason a lot of people in this world are never able to quit smoking. I guess I also fall among the masses. Have I lost hope? I don't think so.
*Sigh* And so I sit here, waiting that one day even my motivation will arrive and set me free of these chains of smoke. Till then....
1 comments:
X has not vanished yet Fatty ........... Still she is with you N ready to support you ..
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